Dissatisfaction with dating apps like Tinder and Bumble is at an all-time high as a recent study showed only 22% of those users considered themselves satisfied or very satisfied.
According to dating expert Gabi Conti, author of the new book “Twenty Guys You Date in Your Twenties”, millennials and members of Generation Z approach dating differently which can cause difficulty in creating lasting relationships and avoiding toxic relationships. “Dating apps can make it seem like the options are endless, which makes it harder to choose. Older generations were more decisive, but Gens Y and Z are less eager to settle due to that perception of endless options.”
"Older generations were more decisive, but Gens Y and Z are less eager to settle due to that perception of endless options.”
Millennials and Generation Zers experience a variety of problems using dating apps—some users don’t get enough matches, while others get large numbers of poor quality matches, who do not share their intentions. For instance, a user who is seeking a serious relationship may receive many matches who are only looking for a casual fling or a one night stand.
How can dating app users improve their experience? Conti notes that some common mistakes can frustrate users’ efforts. For instance, many daters try to project a false image, which Conti says simply ends up hurting in the long run. “It’s better to be unapologetically you in your dating app profile and conversations, even if it might mean fewer matches. Those that are interested have a higher chance into turning into something real—if that’s what you want.”
“It’s better to be unapologetically you in your dating app profile and conversations, even if it might mean fewer matches."
This transparency and authenticity will help reduce the mismatches in intent commonly found in dating app users. In heteronormative dating, women have a tendency to portray their intentions as more casual than they actually are, while some men tend to claim they are looking for a relationship when what they really want is a shorter-term fling. This can often lead to bad matches and toxic relationships, because the communication wasn’t honest to begin with.
Other ways to avoid falling into toxic relationships from a dating app? “Stop making up excuses for red flags and dealbreakers. People tell you who they are almost immediately. Listen to them.”